I think tumblr has left a lot of us emotionally stunted. This is a great community for empowerment, catharsis, or coping, but those things aren’t recovery in and of themselves. Comparatively, they’re easy when compared to the painful self-reflection and real-world scenarios you’ll have to encounter on the road to true recovery. Not only does Tumblr not focus enough on recovery, but there’s almost a disdain here for the very notion.
There’s a lot of time spent validating everything. “Your symptoms are valid! Your responses are valid! Your depression is valid! Your coping is valid!” Well, yeah, all that stuff is definitely valid, and understanding that is important step in recovery, but it’s certainly not the final step. All that stuff is valid in the same way a baby chewing on a teething ring is valid, and there’s nothing to be embarrassed about if your recovery is still in its infancy, but Tumblr almost encourages you to stay there, to never grow out of it.
There’s a difference between what’s valid and what’s healthy, what’s best for you. I recently saw a post that validated people who stay in their room all day. Is that a valid response to anxiety? Sure. Is it a healthy response? Hell no, and there isn’t a person on Earth who can convincingly make the argument that the best thing you can do for your anxiety is to never leave your room.
Or how about those “how to care for a _________” posts? They’ve got some great tips there, and a lot of what they say is true, but you cannot reasonably expect people to coddle your issues, insecurities, or self-perceived inadequacies. Your recovery has to come from you. It has to be a difficult decision you make with yourself and carry through with because you need it. Your recovery can’t come from hoping other people will validate you.
No one should be ashamed of where they are in their recovery process, but there’s also no reason why you should be in the same place with your issues as you were in 2010.
Your final goal is not validation. It isn’t empowerment. It isn’t finding a way to get through the day. It isn’t being comfortable with your problems, nor is it accepting that they’ll never go away. The final goal is health. The final goal is happiness. The final goal is contentment. The final goal is recovery.
Bolded is mine. This covers a lot of things I hate about Tumblr, as their process of validating mental illnesses tends to make people believe that validating = curing.
I think one of the things that struck me most unhealthy about Tumblr was the cries demanding people give “trigger warnings” before posting.
As is well known by now a few years ago I had my life come to a screeching halt by a complete mental breakdown that left me hospitalized for some time. The culprit was undiagnosed OCD, the grand-daddy of all anxiety disorders. Of all the labours in my life my recovery was the hardest and it is by no means complete and I don’t know that it ever will be. It is a daily struggle measured in inches.
Things that can trigger an anxiety or full blown panic attack in me are many and varied and sometimes remarkably mundane. It is a full time job for me to deal with these triggers. But one of the first things I learned in therapy is that job is mine and mine alone. It is not for my family nor friends and most certainly not for the world at large much less random people on the internet to protect me from being exposed to the things that can trigger my anxiety. It is for me to deal with my anxiety in a way that does not cause harm to myself. DBT and CBT (that is cognitive behaviour therapy, not cock and ball torture…) gave me the tools I need to do the work I must do. Isolating myself from my anxieties wasn’t the answer and demanding the world around me bend to deflect my anxieties is not only selfish, it’s unhealthy. Unhealthy for me and unhealthy for the people around me.
Now not every day am I the master of my own personal demons. There are some days I just need to lock myself away in my room. There are many, many times I have to pick and choose my battles. But in the grand sense I am making the effort to be on the move, onward and upward. I am carving out my place in the world where I can be as healthy and productive as I can.
sweet jesus thank you
Burmese Tourmaline 8.15 ct
This is honestly the best poster I have found in a while supporting breast cancer awareness. I am honestly so sick of seeing, “set the tatas free” and “save the boobies”. There is no reason in hell a life threatening, life ruining disease should be sexualized. “Don’t wear a bra day,” go fuck yourselves. You’re not saving a pair of tits, you’re saving the entire package: mind, body, and soul included. Women are not just a pair of breasts.
Admittedly bothered by the idea that I “just want to see Zetto and Kizuna fuck.” That’s… not my perspective at all. Maybe it’s because I’m asexual, but I find the idea of them kissing, much less doing anything beyond, as out of character and unwarranted.
I personally see ‘em as platonic…
I go for a few hours and this is what I come back to? Where did this idea even come from? Well if you want my opinion Zetto and Kizuna do not need to be a sexual couple, or any couple for that matter, a relationship is not sexual attraction, it’s trust, care, passion and understanding, Zetto and Kizuna are fine the way they are, I’m fine with them being close friends and nothing more, I like their companionship regardless, I don’t need them to kiss for them to be a good couple, their perfect the way they are, so yeah, that’s what I’ve got to say
it came from me
i don’t appreciate vagueblogging!
sorry! kizuna and zetto are not dating! they are not in a relationship. they do not want to date! they are not dating. at all. they aren’t! they are not. the witty banter is because they are friends and zetto is a whiny punk bitch and kizuna does not tolerate it. that does not mean she wants to date him or is attracted to him or vice versa! no! sorry!
kizuna is unfortunately a very one dimensional character, in that all she is currently obsessed with is
i mean if you guys want to rail on about PLATONIC THIS and IMPLIED THAT yeah no there’s literally nothing there. nothing. not past, not present, not future. you’re either inferring WAY too hard or projecting harder than you ever possibly could ever project and it’s kind of an insult to decent characters like FMA characters because i promise kizuna / ruri is NOWHERE near as good as riza hawkeye bye!!
who unsurfaced this relic? How did it get so many notes and I didnt notice at all?!
Why do I have all these warm feelings?
So I found this drawing what I feel is a long time ago - it was one of the earlier pieces of troll art I favorited when I started this blog. And I am just recognizing, to my utter embarrassment, that it’s Rahkir, for I did not know the dear seekerkaliope back when I first found this, and I simply never made the connection.
Hot art and hot troll, hot damn.